Atheists, do you experience this feeling when you read/learn about a religion?

I would like to believe that I think in very ytical and logical ways. I grew up under christianity and I broke free from it. All the inconsistencies and contradictions. How could I truly believe in something that I thought was seriously a joke. All these people within these religions have lost the true definition of what god is. I cant call myself an atheist. I feel that that's an easy answer to a very complex equation. Finding out why god is and what the purpose of said god is a main goal i would like to understand more. Just accepting all the jibber jabber and psycho babble from these thousand year old books doesn't do anything for me. Its like watching TV and letting your brain turn to mush. Our main reason for existing is to question reality.